Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Kung Fu and Yard Work

Boy, are you are a movin' and a shakin' now!  Saturday night we went with family to see Kung Fu Panda 2 and I treated myself to a Dr. Pepper at the theater.   Either it was this new thing called caffeine or you were trying out your own kung fu moves, but you were hoppin' around that night.  Your dad and I were awe-stricken as we felt you move and could see with our eyes my belly changing into weird shapes before our eyes. 

Then Sunday we went to Home Depot and bought some decorative brick to outline the flower beds around the trees in the front yard.  I liked the effect so much that we went back and got more to outline future flower beds along the whole front side of the trailer. (It was either that or pay for new skirting and I think having hedges around instead would be more appealing and less expensive in the long run).  Later that evening you had your first Cheesecake Factory experience.  (We were getting a late start treating your grandmothers to a mother's day dinner).  Either the food was a bit more exotic than we're used to or the cheesecake was too rich but my stomach was rolling a bit when we went to bed. 

Monday was Memorial Day, but that didn't mean sleeping in for us.  Your dad had to get out to his dad's house early to get your grandpa's cars inspected and all the other miscellaneous things he has always has lined up for your father.  You and I didn't sleep in either.  I got out there with the shovel and started breaking up the ground for the flowerbeds in the front.  Then I picked up your Grandma Barb and we went to the Houston Garden Center and I bought 15 Indian Hawthorne shrubs.  We came back to the house and she helped me some more with the the yard until I said we needed to call it quits for the day.  It was just getting too hot.  Your grandmother threatened several times to spank me if I didn't stop working so hard  ;-)    Anyway, I guess it's my way of nesting, but the yard is going to look so much better when it's all said and done.  I'm hoping it all gets done in time for my 30th birthday party.  Anyway, the rest of the day was spent resting; I really did wear myself out. 

Tomorrow is the BIG day when we find out if you are a boy or a girl; and it makes me take a step back to wonder why it's so important/interesting to people (myself included).   One friend stated that she felt pregnancy is all the more special when you can start calling your baby by name, which of course you can't unless you are picking a gender-neutral name like Kelly.  Others in the past have stated that the gender of the child can influence the dynamics in the house (especially that the addition of a girl to a house of boys gives it an extra, special dimension).   I find it all very intriguing and exciting.  For me, I think the best part will be getting another look at you for the first time in about two months.  I know you have grown so much because I have felt such a huge difference since your last ultrasound with you moving around and all. 

Included are some pics I took this morning of the house and your older siblings (aka, our furbabies).

Love you baby!





Monday, May 23, 2011


Dear Soybean,

We're halfway there... only 20 weeks remaining until we can meet face to face!

I'm pretty positive I felt you move for the first time Tuesday; for sure, if that was you, then we really felt you last night--both your dad and me.  Maybe it's taken me this long to feel you move because it doesn't feel like I had expected--not at all!  No quick, deft quicks...yet.  This was like the slow, solid, rumbling-feel of gas or a menstrual cramp (without the cramp).  How do you feel to have graduated past the butterfly tickle stage?  I was beginning to tell myself that I wasn't feeling you move here lately because you are already a mama's boy (or girl) and didn't want to bother mama... but I'm sure that's just a stage and you're soon to begin turning cartwheels and I'll be feeling you a lot here soon.

I locked us out of the truck today.. yeah, smooth move I know.  anyway, I kept myself as Zen as possible and felt you make a little move as if to remind me we were in it together as we waited out in the sun for our savior (AAA).

I read that you are now half as long as you will be at birth, but only 10% as heavy-- wow, looks like you have a lot of growing to do!  I'm a bit interested, though in a horrified sort of way, to find out how much bigger I will get if you have that much more to gain.  I read that you still have plenty of room in the amniotic fluid, so swim to your heart's content, little one.  Day will come when you start to feeling a bit stuffy--reminds me of Alice in Wonderland when she drinks the potion that makes her grow and she's all hunched over in the tiny room.  Good thing babies can't get claustrophobic... or can they?  lol. 

Your Grandma Barb fed us with some beef straganoff (your cousin Brendon's recipe though) and warm garlic bread as your dad played basketball outside with Brendon, Craig, Dustin, and Mia this evening.  Man, it was good!  They say that you are able to "taste" the foods I eat, so what did you think?  Be sure and pass along your compliments to the cook as soon as you can talk  ;-)  As we were leaving, your Grandma Barb put her hand on my belly and said goodbye to you too.  You are such a loved baby.

I was thinking a couple of weeks back that in some ways I don't have a lot to offer you.  I mean, I'm not in a position where I can raise you with every advantage life has to offer (for some reason the beautiful and talented Carrie Underwood came to mind to make me feel very low in comparison), but when I look at some people's lives where kids come along as something as a half-hearted afterthought, I feel like you will be very blessed indeed because you have parents that love you and I hope that most times that will be enough. 

Love you!


Monday, May 16, 2011

Exploding casseroles and bulging bellies

Dearest Soybean,

(You don't mind me calling you Soybean still, do ya?  I mean, I know you've graduated far beyond bean-size but I think it's still cute. Just consider it conditioning for all the years I'll call you my baby even when you're an adult.)

I had the first stranger ask me today when I was due, so I thought it'd be the perfect time to take some new belly pics.

Isn't the preggo shirt cute?  I bought it yesterday at Burlington Coat Factory after seeing and holding Cousin Jessica's gorgeous baby Devyn for the first time and hearing her recommend the place.

I'm going to cut this blog short tonight because it's been a long day today, but at least I felt it was productive.  After work, we went to counseling (okay,I'll say I went to counseling--I don't want you to think you were so crazy that you were in therapy before you were even born, ha!).   I was encouraged to become realistic with my expectations about my relationship with a certain someone (while considering their limitations) and that, rather than becoming too focused on that relationship, to center my thoughts on what I envision our little world with you, me, and your daddy will be like.  I'm supposed to really dwell on what I want our little nucleus world to be like for you and work on making that happen.  Sounds good, something I can change and work on. 

Things are going to be good, baby.  Love you.  Oh, and when you're older, don't forget to ask about the exploding casserole episode that unfolded last night.


Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Baby travels to Nebraska

Dearest Soybean,

It seems there are never enough hours in the day.  Once again, it's bedtime and I find I haven't written to you.  Well, tonight, I must write something!

The last OB appt we went to there were no ultrasounds done (bummer!) but the doctor did get out his little kit to listen to your heartbeat.  Your heartbeat would fade in and out as he would chase you around with the wand, but he smiled finally as he said he had pinned you and we could hear your heartbeat, strong and steady.  June 1st is the BIG appt where daddy and I get to find out whether you come with boy or girl accessories and make sure everything's developing correctly.  I'm so excited; my coworker Becca demands a text as soon as I know--she won't let me wait until I come into work the day after to spill the beans.  :-)

This weekend marked the second month anniversary of your Uncle Adam's death but it was good that I was with family for the horrible milestone.  We were all together because we traveled to Nebraska to see your Uncle Stephen graduate from college!  Your grandfather was amazing orchestrating the whole thing and making sure you and I were comfortable as possible--he borrowed a friend's RV and everything!  (that the starter went out on the RV's generator two hours into the trip is beside the point.. haha!).  I could feel myself getting short and withdrawn and it was one of those times I wish I could be on the antidepressants but the bad feelings come and go and your dad is always there ready with little kisses to make me smile.  I was so proud of your Uncle Stephen as he walked across the stage; I was crying so much I felt stupid.  He has worked hard for this and his accomplishment is well-deserved.  I just know he's going to be the best nurse in the world--ever!  It's just amazing how life can be so chock full of bad and good things, and both within so short a time.  We grieve the loss of one brother and celebrate with another...   *sigh*   

oh, and another thing happened this weekend!  you have a new cousin!  Yes, my cousin Jessica delivered her baby on Friday!  I have yet to see him in person, but the photos I've seen on Facebook show that he is simply gorgeous.

I love you.  Sometimes I look at the ultrasound pics and wonder how something as detailed and miraculous-looking as you can still be so small.  I mean, sure, I have a bigger belly than before, but nothing like I'm sure it's going to get.  I wonder if you can feel the love for you from in there where you are.  I felt a series of flutters earlier and fancifully imagined you were tapping on my belly from the inside as if to say, "Hey, Mom, how's it going?"  Still no strong kicks but I've been told they're coming and will most likely be keeping me up at night.  :-)

I did go see a counselor Monday evening when I got back from the Nebraska trip with another planned for this coming week.  The lady seems great and I'm hoping I can get some tools with which to change my own reactiveness to situations.  Your mama is a little firecracker; I swear it's in the Scheffler genes  :-) 

Well, I think I should lay us down for the night and get some beauty rest.  I hope I will start to write again more faithfully, but you have to know you are the center of our universe right now, regardless.

All my love,