Yoga and Ice Cream by the Pint

Dear little lady,

We made it! ... to the third trimester, that is.  I'm getting huge!  Today one person mentioned that I've gotten the pregnancy-waddle going on and another exclaimed that I am getting bigger every day.  I was fine with that until she told me that my cheeks were filling out too.  Not so cool.  The last couple of nights I've noticed that I'm having more trouble getting to sleep and that I'm a tad uncomfortable lying down.  I attribute a lot of it to the fact that you seem to have taken your exercise regimen to the next level (I tell Chris to tell his daughter to settle down when I try to sleep).  You move around a lot!  :-)  Which is very very good; but I wonder sometimes if people realize that my thoughts drift during conversation because I feel "alien" movements like crazy inside me.

I've been having some bouts with depression here lately; honestly, I have felt nagging guilt about not exercising or eating nutritious food like I know I should for the both of us.  But the last two nights I did the "Yoga Mama" exercise video for preggos and it seemed to have helped with my mood a bit.  Today I did great with eating well for the first time in forever; but my melancholy kicked in again this evening and your dad did the only thing he knew to do-- buy me a pint of my favorite ice cream.  And, yes, it worked.  I sit here pretty well soothed--fat and exercise-free.

It's also bothering me that you don't have a name yet.  I feel that you "deserve" a name by now but the name-game has somewhat stalled.  From the beginning I said that I'd have to see you first before pinning you with a name for life, but as we get farther along in this pregnancy, I'm wishing your daddy and I were able to decide on something.  I guess the names I like are a bit too off-the-wall, but to me you will always be my October Jewel.  Your dad is still loving either Jessa Danielle or Carlie Ann, perhaps even Aven.  I won't stop looking.  I just want to find something that feels good on the tongue, has a nice cadence, means something, "fits" you, and isn't too far-fetched that no one would dare guess how to pronounce/spell.  wow, I guess that's asking a lot.  It's just that we've waited a long time for you, baby girl, and I want to get it right.

I can't count how many times your daddy has said that he can't wait to meet you but I can tell you he says it more and more often here lately.  I'm sure you've come to recognize his voice by now; I hope you hear all of his "I love you's" and take them to heart.  You are so very loved.  You can never ever doubt that.

It's been a bit stressful thinking about the baby showers, trying to get all the dates hammered out and communicating with my hostesses.  I'm thinking I probably should have just had one huge mega-shower for my 80+ guests and rented a hall for the event.  But as it is, I'm sure it will all work out... surely... i mean, right??

Your mama got invited to be a bridesmaid! Yep, your cousin Brendon is getting married to the sweetest gal, Kristine, next summer.  It'll be the first time I'll be in anyone's wedding since being a flowergirl in my Uncle Bill's first wedding and then of course the bride in my own.  I'm excited!  It could very well end up being your first out-of-state trip! 

I'm still trying to figure out how things are going to work career-wise once you arrive.  If I think about it for too long, it tears me up inside because I know I'll want to stay home with you full-time and it doesn't look like we can afford for me to do that.  So, it's either going back to Apria or trying my hand at a hospital PRN.  I want you to know that you can do anything you put your mind to; and so I try to believe the same for myself too, but just the thought of working in a hospital is intimidating.  Since graduation I haven't worked in a hospital at all; I feel I've lost all my clinical skills and, for sure, I don't remember any of the values and equations I need to know for critical care.

Anyway, there's a lot more I could write but I guess I need to wind this up for now and get us ready for bed.  Sweet dreams, little one.

Love,

Mama