New Day

Dear Soybean,

It's been a week since my last entry.  You and I did indeed go out and buy some yellow rose bushes last Sunday.  It took a lot of looking (seems red and pink are MUCH more popular) and moving around buckets and getting scratches, but we found 'em!  I found one kind of yellow rose but then spotted a bucket of New Day yellow roses and seized upon it.  I made it my mission to find two more since I needed three bushes in all and sure enough we came away victorious.  How much more inspiring of a name can you get than New Day?  Since being planted, they've all taken beautifully to their new home here and are starting to bloom.

In spite of my efforts to work out in the yard, this past week has been pretty dark psychologically.  Try as I would, I haven't been able to shake off the depression.  The job situation just seems to get gloomier and gloomier.  Everyone that came over with me, plus people who had already been working with this new company for years, are job-hunting.  One already has a job lined up and another has two interviews in place.  I feel like the only one with few options.  What I wouldn't give to be able to be a stay-at-home mom.  If you are a boy, I am definitely going to stress education.  I want you to be in the position where you can afford to have your wife stay at home and raise your young'uns if that's what she wants (I know some people that would die if they had to stay at home with their kids and that's fine for them).  Call me old-fashioned, but I think there's something very wholesome and rootifying (is that a word?) about someone holding down the homefront.  Besides, laundry, cleaning, and cooking is a full-time job in itself... add in some volunteering and I call it a very fulfilling, honorable lifestyle.  It's not that I am (always) lazy and don't want to work.  I just know there are some things more important than a career and that family and sanity are a few of them. 

The one bright spot of this past week was the OB appt Wednesday.  I got to see pics of you and you are definitely looking more human!  You have graduated far beyond being the little round ball of tissue I first saw.  Your dad was so proud and happy.  Afterwards, he took me to Chipotle's for supper and said he enjoyed going with me to the OB appt.  He said it was like telling everyone, "Yes, this is MY baby."  I was like, duh!  Who else's would you be?  But he is so cute. 


Yesterday we went to the birthday party for my cousin Elissa's baby Karson.  He celebrated his first birthday; it was crazy to think that just four years before we had all been at that same park for his brother Kaden's first birthday party and had met Uncle John's sweetie Debbie.  The party was a huge success; the weather was great too, but I just couldn't get in the right frame of mind and kept thinking about Adam.  That, and the fact that your dad was home sick with allergies and congestion, I decided to leave after the party and come home.  Oh, Elissa volunteered her and Crystal's servcies to host a baby shower for you.  I told her I'll take her up on that since I need one for the Scheffler clan since that will be a huge group in itself.  Schefflers covered, church covered, New Braunfels covered--now I just need a hostess for the Nall/Matney party and one to host a party for friends not covered in previous categories.   Regardless, I know you are going to be one pampered little child.   :-) 

Oh, and just for kicks, I did one of those things that merge mom and dad pics to create a pic of what baby will look like.  Here's what they came up with using your dad and my photos....  you have no upper lip!!!  lol

The last few days I haven't been as nauseated all the time as I was before and my outlook feels improved today.  Today we were able to give that ancient king-size bed away to a neighbor and I posted pictures of the canvasses that are just taking up room--slowly, we're making room for your stuff.  Tomorrow I'll be taking the final exam on my English lit course (I'll be so glad to be done with that class at last!). And I plan on buying the exam prep materials to take the AE-C.  With that certification, maybe I'll have more options to work closer to home with daytime hours and with a company that actually cares about people, not just profit.  If you thought I have been exaggerating about the evils of my new employer, I was told that one of the warehouse ladies asked the manager last winter if they could get heaters of some sort since it was bitterly cold.  The manager's response?  "You applied for a warehouse job, and that's what you got--a warehouse job." 

Hopefully I can keep a positive outlook even when the reality of Monday morning slaps me in the face tomorrow.  One way or another though, kiddo, we'll get through this... together.  :-)